My Sunshine
by lady-of-nebulas
Summary: The Survey Corps leaves on the initial part of their expedition to reclaim Wall Maria tomorrow, and it just won't stop raining. Head filled with worry about the mission, Petra confides in Captain Levi.


_Raining again, _Captain Levi thought. _If this weather doesn't let up soon, our expedition will be a disaster. _Walking slowly away from the barred window, he wore his usual look of annoyance. Ticked off, Levi sat down heavily in his wooden chair. Kicking his boots off, he lifted his legs to rest on the surface of the table. _This mission is going to be a train wreck; Test run or not, I doubt fifty percent will survive; especially with this storm obstructing our vision and practically freezing us to death. _The Captain tilted his head back, closing his eyes in exasperation. It was no secret that the initiative to reclaim Wall Maria was a plan extremely unlikely to succeed, and one that would most certainly yield an astronomical amount of casualties. In the month leading up to the initial expedition, they had planned counter actions for every possible mishap that might occur. Even so, with the mission tomorrow, he had a sinking feeling. Levi sighed. It was all too much of a hassle for a mission that would never work out.

Three hard knocks on the pine door roused him from his thoughts. "What is it?" he called. The door swung open and a girl about his height walked in. Her strawberry blonde hair waved about her head, but lacked the lustre it would normally hold, were there sunlight streaming in. "Petra," Levi said. He breathed an internal sigh of relief that it was her here, and not Erwin coming to bother him with his military stratagems on his last day off.

"Good afternoon, Heichou." Petra said, standing at parade rest. Lifting her right arm and crossing it over her chest in a salute, she said, "I need to ask a favour of your, sir."

Levi was quiet for a moment. "There's no need to be so formal, Petra," he said finally. "Come sit down." She lowered her arm and advanced towards the table. Seeing his socked feet resting on top of it coolly, with a smile, Petra propped hers up there as well. "Ah!" Levi groaned as her muddy boots grazed the tabletop. "No shoes!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" She chuckled, swinging her legs back to the ground. "I'll clean it up."

"No, don't worry. I'll do it." Levi stood up and grabbed a cloth from the cupboard. It was still damp from the last time he's used it. Walking back to her, he began wiping up the dirty footprints she'd left on the surface of the wood. "What was it you needed?" His general harsh demeanor was softened slightly around her. He had always been one to hide his emotions and put on a tough or indifferent face, but Petra was one of the few people who actually made him want to smile.

"Yes, about that," Petra began. She stared down, avoiding his gaze for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath and looking him in the eyes. "The expedition tomorrow; it's going to be very dangerous, correct?"

He stopped his scrubbing. Though normally tedious when it came to cleaning, he could see the seriousness in what she had to say. He dropped the rag and returned to his seat. "Yes, every mission the Survey Corps carries out is incredibly dangerous," he replied.

"But this one," she said. "Especially so, am I not wrong?"

"No; you're correct. With Jaeger to protect, there is a large chance some of us will have to sacrifice ourselves for his sake," he said.

"Well then," she said. "If you do the math, there's not really a large chance that I'll survive, is there?" She did not seem frightened by the prospect, only very disappointed.

Levi felt a painful thud in his chest. Of course, he'd seen a countless number of his soldiers die before him. It had never been easy, but as cruel as it was, it had gotten easier over time. However, imagining the same brutal death for the woman sitting across from him seemed horrifying, even to the fearless titan killer. "Nonsense," he said, not letting his emotions betray him. "You handle battle incredibly well. Of course it's still possible that you could die during this expedition, but it is improbable."

She glanced down, letting out an almost sarcastic, breathy laugh. "You're missing the point," Petra said. "What I'm asking is, if the mission is a complete failure, please don't give up. Keep going."

Levi looked slightly confused. "Isn't that a given?" he asked.

"I know it's silly of me to seek you out just to tell you this," she said, still holding eye contact. "But for the past five years, every single day, I see more hope die out. People are losing their faith in the Scouting Legion, (and it isn't like I can't understand why, to be honest) but you can't give up hope, Captain. Even when it seems hopeless, you can't give up." Petra had a very intense look in her eyes. After completing her speech, she finally broke the stare, now looking down at her hands placed in her lap.

"Why are you saying this?" he asked.

"I don't know, sir. I just have a bad feeling about the mission."

The silence was palpable. The cold, dark conditions just beyond the window pane reflected the uncomfortable energy back inside the stone walls of the room. After what seemed like minutes of nothing, Levi's voice reappeared. "It's not silly," he said. "I can't lose my faith. Any chance mankind has to reclaim its territory relies on me."

"Arrogant," Petra whispered with a smile.

He gave her a look of dissatisfaction, but in reality, he was impressed by her nerve. "If the expedition fails, and we have more casualties than we accounted for," he paused. "It will only give me more strength to defeat the titans, once and for all."

Petra's face was accented by a sad smile. "You really are sweet, underneath the hard shell, you know?" She was far too independent to be love-struck, per say, yet she had a hint of veneration in her eyes. She leaned across the table. Softly, she pecked him on the cheek. Even Lance Corporal Levi, master of nonchalance, could not stop the rosy blush that appeared in the place where she had pecked him. She pulled away, her expression changing from one of admiration to embarrassment. "I'm sorry sir. That was extremely inappropriate of me. I should not have let my personal feelings interfere." It was unprofessional of her, really. But Levi could feel something inside of him; a desire that questioned the absence of her touch. Of course, this hadn't been the first time. It was a while back; the stars (and Petra's eyes) were shining something special, then. He'd been the one to lean in for the kiss that time. Cliché as it was, sparks flew when they touched. For the purposes of avoiding awkwardness, they'd both acted as if it had never happened afterwards. It _was_ amazing, though. This time, she was standing and turning to leave when he grabbed her by the wrist.

"Petra," he said. "It's alright."

She looked shocked when he stood and walked towards her. He dropped her wrist. Placing his hands one on each of her cheeks, he kissed her very gently. The surprise melted from her face and her eyelids fluttered closed. Soon she found her arms resting softly on his shoulders, hands clasped behind his neck. _Her lips are_ _incredibly soft, _he kept thinking. For a moment he detached himself from her, whispering pleasingly. "We should go to my room," he said.

Walking quickly, they reached Levi's residency. They kept very professional airs about them as the trekked down the hall, in case anyone else saw them. When they were inside the room, and the door was shut, they were all over each other again.

Hands were travelling all about; discovering new places, not entirely different from those of any other person; but so breathtaking, imperfect, and unique. They fought the urge to rush as slowly and lightly they lifted each other's clothing off. He almost tripped on the straps of his uniform, causing Petra to burst out laughing. He caught himself, and tried to play it off with a suave grab and pull of her waist. This caused her to laugh even more, but she encompassed him once again. His delicate kisses found their way down to her neck. They sat down cross-legged on the floor, only in their underclothes, the two bodies intertwined. They were getting desperate now. They jumped on to the extravagant bed. Removing the last bit of fabric left on the surface, nearer they progressed once more, closing all of the negative space between them. For one so brutal in battle, Levi had very delicate, sensual movements. She tugged at his hair. He didn't mind the pain (He kind of enjoyed it). They continued to murmur sweet words until their voices were quavering. Neither of them wanted it to be over, but they were both exhausted when they finished. Looking deep into his eyes, Petra grabbed Levi and pulled him into a tight embrace. Externally, he looked a bit annoyed. But her skin was just so soft and warm. Slightly, he pulled away from her. "I should really clean up the rest of that mud in the meeting room," he said quietly, breathing into her shoulder.

"Oh my god!" She laughed.

When she let him go, she pushed slightly away and hugged her knees, covering herself up. "Shy all of a sudden?" Levi asked with a slight upturning on the corner of his mouth.

Petra gasped and pointed at him, a huge grin on her face. "You smiled!"

"Shut up," he teased, although the smirk remained.

"Could you pass me those?" Petra said, indicating her undergarments lying just a bit closer to him than to her, near to falling off the bed. His expression turned to one of extreme discomfort. "What, shy all of a sudden?" she mocked him. Awkwardly, he picked them up (by just his two fingers, no less) and tossed them over. "You really are a romantic, you know that?" She laughed. He scooted off the bed, grabbing for his undershorts and pulling them back on, the same as she was doing with her own garments. Evidently, the Survey Corps uniform had many bits and pieces that, at that moment, they didn't really feel like re-dawning, but despite the intimate moment they had just shared, they did want to be somewhat covered. It was just human nature. Petra shivered. It was awfully cold in there.

"Here," Levi said, standing and pacing to the other side of the room. He returned carrying with him his green cloak. He draped it over her mostly bare shoulders.

"Thanks," she said. "But can't we just go under the blankets?"

"Um," he mumbled. "Of course, but,"

"But then the bed would be un-made?" Levi looked guilty. "It's okay," she said sincerely. "This is good." He felt like a jerk.

"No; I insist." He picked her up and carried her around the side of the frame. Lifting up the dense blanket s he tucked her in in. "Better?" he asked. She stuck her neck out and kissed him. _I'll take that as a yes, _he thought.

He sat down next to Petra, putting his arm around her. "This isn't allowed, is it?" she asked.

He thought for a second. "Most likely not, though I can't say for sure. In other lines of work, it's usually taboo to be in a relationship with a co-worker…Honestly, it's never been an issue before." The small smile was back again, and Petra definitely noticed, but she stayed quiet this time.

"Then shouldn't we have locked the door?" she asked. "Not a lot of us here in the Survey Corps like to knock."

She was smart; very smart, actually. Though Levi was adept in the physical aspect of the military, Petra was at least his match in intelligence, if not his superior. Once not so long before, she had found a fatal fault in their operation strategy that even Commander Erwin had failed to see. Her discovery ended up saving many soldiers' lives. Time and time again, she shocked every one of her peers with her amazing intuition. _This _particular manner of hindsight was more so a deduction of logic, but she was brilliant all the same. Levi eventually came to the conclusion that _yes, they should have locked the door, _"But wouldn't that have killed the moment a bit?"

"I suppose, but it's better than being kicked out of the Corps," she replied, not mentioning when he almost died taking off his pants (because if _that_ didn't kill the moment, turning a lock certainly wouldn't have). After a moment she laughed. "Actually, no. It's worth it."

Levi leaned over and kissed her forehead. The Captain looked sad, now though. He placed his hands on the floor behind his back. "This was the dumbest thing I could have done," he said. "I'm not going to be thinking straight."

Someone else might have misunderstood his words and taken hurt or offense to them, but Petra knew what he meant. How could they ever perform at their best on the expedition when they knew what they had here? It was awful to think that emotions would be disadvantages, but they really were. What the two of them had together, how it could grow over time, and that it would all be gone if anything went awry during the mission? That was enough to distract from the important elements of a recon expedition.

"Me too," she said, eventually. "But tomorrow is miles away, Levi." She had rarely addressed him by his first name (it was considered impolite to talk to a superior officer in that manner). The use of it made the moment personally intimate. She brought her arms up out of the shawl and wrapped them around his middle, pulling him close, as if she never wanted to let go (which was probably true). "We've got all the time in the world."

There were a few picturesque windows positioned in the corners of wall, between the torches. Levi could see that the sun was setting now. The switch inside his brain flicked on as he thought, _wait; the sun?_

"It's stopped raining," Levi said, his mouth in a small "o". _Thank God, _he thought.

"This really has been a good day!" Petra said. "We should go watch the sunset."

"Why?" he asked. He didn't really understand the fun of the activity.

She made a face that insinuated the use of the word "duh". "Because it's pretty," she said. "And it's usually thought of as being romantic."

"It is?"

She rolled her eyes. "Put your clothes on," Petra said. He kind of liked it when she bossed him around.

They walked down to the yard and stopped just under the edge of the concrete pathway. Petra sat down, sticking her legs out on the slightly lower grass plain. Levi stood with his back against a pillar. She punched him in the ankle playfully. "You don't have to act so cold," she said.

"I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea," he said.

"It's not exactly illegal to sit next to each other." Petra looked up at him, and he looked away. "Oh! Are you worried people will think you've gone soft? Fine then," she said, faking passive aggression. Standing up, she leaned against his shoulder.

"I hope the weather stays this nice," she said.

"I imagine it will," he replied.

They jumped away from each other when they heard footsteps behind them. "Evening," Hanji said, with a knowing smile. "How are things?"

Levi and Petra awkwardly muttered variations of "good" and "great". It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"Well, I'll leave you to it," Hanji said, running away. Immediately, she went to tell _everyone_ about the newest relationship gossip. They were all giggling about it, poking fun at the couple. Whether it was technically allowed or not, the other members of the Scouting Legion didn't seem to mind.

When Hanji was out of sight, they dropped the act, reverting back to the previous state. Petra tilted her head, resting it in the crook of his neck. Levi reached up and stroked her hair a few times. It was now shining as it should be. The coral light streamed down through the clouds into the garden, accenting the pastel coloured flowers growing there. "This reminds me of a song my father used to sing to me," Petra said.

"Hmm?"

"It was a lullaby; or at least he treated it like one," she admitted. "It's from the old days, a long time ago." As the sun began to sink beneath the horizon, she softly sang, slightly off key. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey."

"It's a nice song," Levi said.

"It reminds me of home." Petra looked the way someone looks when they try to seem content, yet on the inside, they're hurting.

"You'll be home soon enough," he said. "Then you can get your Pops to sing it to you again."

"Hey! I'm not a child," she sort of half yelled.

_I know, _he thought. "Is there more to the song?" Levi asked.

The melody pierced the dusk for a second time. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you."

_Please don't take my sunshine away. _The last line of her song floated to the surface of his memory as he gazed upon the pile of bodies. He lifted the tarp covering her, just enough to see the winged patch. Her red stained hand dropped out. She was cold. She would have been cold for hours, now. He wasn't surprised, really. Why would he get to stay with anything good? Levi dropped to his knees, paying his respects for not just her, but for each one of them. His expression was completely blank. As he threw her broken corpse from their wagon, seeing the gold in her hair shine atop her blood-soaked face, he remembered the song again. He remembered it a lot.

*Author's Note*

Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! I don't normally write little notes at the end, but I thought, "hey, why not?" First of all: sorry. Second: I hope you could enjoy the fluffy bits enough to not get too offended at the sad ending. Obviously (although not canon) this fic takes place in the canon universe (I say obviously because there's no way I'd kill Petra of if this were an AU). At first I was thinking of ending it off on more of a "foreshadow-y" note, like as to what happens in the future of the canon story (to avoid spoilers and to leave people who _did_ get the hint feeling kinda crappy) but I got the idea of the song and said, "what the hell". I'm thinking of doing a multi-chapter "happy" AU with these beaners sometime in the future, so there is still hope for this ship! I have edited this a bit since originally posting because there were a few things I decided I didn't like (I saw some adorable headcanons and tumblr that put this fic to shame! I had to incorporate them somehow). Anyways, /Sorry/ and thank you once again,

-Emily


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